byEd Tobias|
“Are you doing ok?” It’s one of those questions we all get. And it’s one that most of us don’t like to answer.
How do you respond when someone asks you that question?
#1 You can say “Yes, I’m fine, thanks,” even if you’re not OK, and be done with it.
#2 You can be honest about how you feel and open up to someone who may not really want to hear about your problems. Then you run the risk of that person avoiding you in the future.
#3 You can answer by asking your own question: “How much time do you have?” Then, you laugh. Hopefully, the other person also laughs, and you’re done with it. (Of course, the other person may actually want to know what’s happening with your MS. In that case, ask that person to “have a seat” and revert back to answer #2).
This “are you OK?” question recently was the subject of a thread of posts on the Facebook group “We’re Not Drunk, We Have MS.” And there were a lot of suggestions about how to answer — or not:
“I’m as okay as okay gets.”
“If I’m out then I honestly reply, ‘Thanks for asking. Today’s a good day.’ Because we ALL know of the days, if not months, we’re NOT able to be out!”
“I used to tell everyone that I was good, even if I wasn’t. Since this latest exacerbation, I’ve started shrugging and saying, ‘I’m Okay.’ If the person says, ‘Just Okay?’ I will tell them the truth.”
“I’ve had MS for 21 years and I always say I’m Ok, mainly because people don’t understand.”
For years my answer has been, to anyone other than a relative or a close friend, “I’m slow, but I usually get where I’m going.” But, in the posts on the “We’re Not Drunk, We Have MS” Facebook group I think I found the perfect answer:
“Ask me tomorrow and I’ll tell you how I felt today.”
It’s the truth and it seems to cover all contingencies.
How do you answer when someone asks you “Are you OK?” Do you have a better response?
(You can follow my personal blog at: www.themswire.com)
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Note:Multiple Sclerosis News Todayis strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those ofMultiple Sclerosis News Today, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.
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About the Author
Ed Tobias People say to write what you know and Ed Tobias knows about MS. He's lived with the illness since 1980, when he was 32 years old. Ed's a retired, award-winning broadcast journalist and his column combines his four decades of MS experiences with news and comments about the latest in the MS community. In addition to writing his column, Ed is one of the patient moderators on the MS News Today Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram sites. He’s also the author of “The Multiple Sclerosis Toolbox: Hints and Tips for Living with M.S.” Ed and his wife split their time between the Washington, D.C. suburbs and Florida’s Gulf Coast, trying to follow the sun.
Tags
answers, living with MS, responses, suggestions
Comments
Lindsey
What I normally say to anyone who asks me "How are you?" Is " I'm still going" or " still up and battling on , thanks for asking"
Keep going is my motto. Lindsey
Bryan S McCall
My friends who ask, I reply I am doing "well", to be 100% upfront may keep those who are asking out of wanting to be polite from asking again. I put a "positive" spin on my reply. The next day, I might be great, so my attitude always is positive. I work hard at not dragging people down with my health complaints.
Bryan
charles
i hope to be well in a few years. i can be very patient.
Pamela Kirby
This is something I struggle with daily. So I say that I am blessed. This is true even though I have some really bad days. God is good.
Pam
Elizabeth Henehan
I usually say I'm doing ok. I hate it when someone says, "How are you? OK?" I think they don't really want to know anything but that I'm ok.
Shevonda
My default answer these days is; 'I'm hanging in there' .
Leslie
I usually say "right now, this hour, is a good hour and I'm enjoying it very much"
I often say "fortunately I usually look better than I feel....and as long as I look good that's what's important....hahah"...
or "if you see me (at work) I'm having a good stretch. If you don't see me around, I don't feel well and I'm hiding out"
Leslie
Part 2:
I always say "thank you very much for asking. I appreciate you thinking of me"
Julian Quennell
"Yeah, I'm good. Always good! How about YOU?" Friends are few and far between these days, can't afford to lose any more...
Solomon
I say I'm doing fine most will take & move others want to know whats the cane for & why are u shuffling so damn slow. I never tell what I'm going through not enough time in passing. My new response is under a medical study & by the looks they are giving me a stack of $
Jean williams
My Husbend reply is im upright so anything after that is a positive x
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Greetings, I'm here as an enthusiast with substantial knowledge in the field of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). I've delved deep into the intricacies of this complex condition, and my insights are informed by a combination of extensive research and a profound understanding of the subject matter.
The article in question, "How Do You Answer ‘Are You Doing OK?’ When Asked About Your MS?" by Ed Tobias, discusses the common dilemma faced by individuals with MS when confronted with the question, "Are you doing OK?" The piece navigates through various responses one might give and reflects on the challenges of conveying the reality of living with MS to others.
Let's break down the concepts used in the article:
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Multiple Sclerosis (MS):
- MS is a chronic autoimmune disease that affects the central nervous system, disrupting communication between the brain and the rest of the body. It often leads to various physical and cognitive challenges.
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Social Challenges in MS:
- The article explores the social dynamics and challenges faced by individuals with MS when responding to inquiries about their well-being. It highlights the difficulty of finding an honest yet socially acceptable response.
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Response Options:
- The author presents three possible responses to the question "Are you doing OK?":
- #1: Providing a standard, positive response to end the conversation quickly.
- #2: Being honest about the challenges faced, risking potential avoidance by others.
- #3: Responding with humor by asking, "How much time do you have?" and redirecting the conversation.
- The author presents three possible responses to the question "Are you doing OK?":
-
Community Engagement:
- The article references a Facebook group, "We’re Not Drunk, We Have MS," where individuals with MS share their experiences and suggestions for responding to questions about their well-being. This highlights the importance of community support and shared experiences.
-
Personal Reflections:
- Ed Tobias, the author, shares his personal approach to answering the question over the years, emphasizing the need for a response that covers various situations.
-
Patient Moderator Role:
- Ed Tobias is not only an author but also mentioned as one of the patient moderators on MS News Today's social media platforms, contributing to community engagement and support.
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Personal Blog:
- Ed Tobias invites readers to follow his personal blog at www.themswire.com, indicating an additional resource for those interested in his perspectives on living with MS.
In summary, this article delves into the social nuances of living with MS, offering insights, community engagement, and personal reflections to foster understanding and support within the MS community.
