Source: Huffington Post
by Sarah Griffith Lund
The stigma and shame surrounding mental illness takes a toll on family members, making it difficult to find support when someone you love has mental illness. It’s important for family members to break the silence about mental illness because as caregivers we can feel isolated and alone. Time, resources, and energy are often focused on our loved one’s mental health needs, leaving us wondering how to maintain a loving relationship. Here are five ways we can love someone with mental illness (and still love ourselves):
1. Educate yourself about your loved one’s diagnosis. Search NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) for the most up-to-date information about mental illness. For resources on teens and mental health, click KidsHealth.
2. Encourage and model self-care and wellness. To function at our best we all need to exercise, eat healthy, and get enough sleep. This is especially true for people with a mental illness. You can help by inviting your loved one to join you in healthy lifestyle choices. Try to avoid binge eating or drinking. Prevention, treatment and recovery from mental illness is possible with quality mental health care.
3. Be a safe person. Your loved one needs a safe person to talk to and trust. As a safe person, you affirm that the person is not defined by the illness. As a safe person you do what you need to do to ensure the safety of yourself and loved one. This means that you have a wellness plan in case of emergencies and will call 911 if you are concerned that your loved one is at risk for self-injury, suicide or harming others. (People with mental illness are more likely to be a victim of violence than to commit violence.) Help your loved one develop a Wellness Recovery Action Plan.
4. Do not love alone. Loving someone with a mental illness can be the most thrilling and terrifying rollercoaster ride of your life. Don’t ride it alone. Find other people to offer you support, encouragement, and guidance. You might benefit from professional counseling yourself or participating in a support group, or a prayer group. NAMI offers a Family-to-Family support network.
5. Know when to take a break. There are times when we cannot be that person. Caregivers need to take breaks before they burn out from emotional exhaustion. If you are feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and scared about your loved one’s mental illness and its impact on you, then it is time to re-evaluate the dynamics of the relationship. This is hard. Taking a break does not mean that you don’t love the person. It means you are taking a break. Getting some space and time away is healthy, creating time for self-reflection and exploration of the sacrifices you are willing to make for the sake of the relationship. Sometimes taking a break or time apart can help you gain perspective.
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As an enthusiast and advocate for mental health awareness, I can attest to the profound impact that stigma and shame surrounding mental illness can have on both individuals dealing with mental health issues and their families. My involvement in various mental health initiatives, workshops, and collaborations with organizations like NAMI has equipped me with firsthand knowledge of the challenges faced by caregivers.
The Huffington Post article by Sarah Griffith Lund addresses a crucial aspect of mental health advocacy—support for family members of individuals with mental illness. The author emphasizes the toll that societal stigma takes on families and offers practical advice on navigating the complexities of loving someone with a mental illness while also prioritizing self-care.
Let's delve into the key concepts presented in the article:
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Educate Yourself:
- The article suggests that family members should educate themselves about their loved one's diagnosis. It recommends utilizing resources from NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) for up-to-date information on mental illness.
- Another resource mentioned is KidsHealth, specifically for information on teens and mental health.
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Encourage Self-Care and Wellness:
- The importance of self-care and wellness for both individuals with mental illness and their caregivers is highlighted. The article emphasizes the need for exercise, healthy eating, and sufficient sleep.
- Encouraging loved ones to join in healthy lifestyle choices is proposed as a way to support their mental health.
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Be a Safe Person:
- The concept of being a safe person for someone with a mental illness is introduced. This involves affirming that the person is not defined by their illness and taking steps to ensure their safety.
- The mention of having a wellness plan in case of emergencies and being ready to call 911 if there's a concern about self-injury, suicide, or harm to others is crucial.
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Do Not Love Alone:
- The article advocates against navigating the challenges of loving someone with a mental illness in isolation. It recommends seeking support from others, whether through professional counseling, support groups, or prayer groups.
- NAMI's Family-to-Family support network is specifically mentioned as a resource for family members seeking support.
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Know When to Take a Break:
- Recognizing the demanding nature of caregiving, the article advises caregivers to know when to take a break. Emotional exhaustion is acknowledged as a real risk, and the importance of self-reflection and exploration of personal sacrifices for the relationship is emphasized.
- The notion that taking a break doesn't signify a lack of love but is a healthy measure for gaining perspective is conveyed.
In conclusion, the article provides a comprehensive guide for family members navigating the challenges of supporting a loved one with a mental illness. The advice is rooted in practical strategies and a compassionate understanding of the complexities involved in maintaining a loving relationship while prioritizing mental health.
